“It’s a Wonderful Life” and “A Christmas Carol” (in its many adaptations) are film classics, but if you like your holiday movies to have more belly laughs than heartfelt tears, you’re probably a fan of more modern offerings like “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation,” “Home Alone,” “A Christmas Story,” and “Elf.” These films have introduced us to the memorable antics of Cousin Eddie, Scut Farkus, and the Wet Bandits, but it’s the main characters that bring us back for so many repeated viewings. So, which funny movie lead are you most like?
1. The thing most likely to land you on Santa’s Naughty List is:
A. Accidentally kidnapping your boss
B. Setting a dangerous number of booby traps in your house
D. Trashing the Gimbels toy department in a fight with a Santa imposter
2. Your ideal holiday meal consists of:
A. Roasted turkey, pumpkin pie, and egg nog
B. One cheese pizza all to yourself
C. Peking duck (or any Chinese food)
D. Spaghetti with maple syrup
3. The gift you most want this year is:
A. An in-ground pool for your family
B. The director’s cut of “Angels With Filthy Souls”
C. An official Red Ryder, carbine action, 200-shot, range model air rifle with a compass in the stock and this thing that tells time
D. A perfect holiday with your dad
4. Is “Die Hard” a Christmas movie?
A. No, because it’s not a family movie
B. Yes, because Christmas is more fun with action movies
C. Maybe, but if you repeat the swear words, your mom will wash your mouth out with Lifebuoy soap
D. We never heard of it at the North Pole, so probably not
Add up your number of A, B, C, and D answers. Here’s what they say about you:
If you chose mostly A’s, you’re most like Clark Griswold — Christmas is all about family and tradition. In the end, it doesn’t matter if everything goes perfectly. (Hey … sometimes a squirrel terrorizes your family, or a sewer blows up. These things happen.) In the end, all that matters is that you make memories with the people you love.
If you chose mostly B’s, you’re most like Kevin McAllister — The holidays are all about enjoying yourself, even if you prefer gangster movies to “Miracle on 34th Street” or pizza delivery rather than a turkey dinner. You are a one-of-a-kind original who shouldn’t worry about fitting in with the crowd … even when that crowd happens to be your family.
If you chose mostly C’s, you’re most like Ralphie Parker — Even if you get stuck in pink bunny pajamas or lose Christmas dinner to the neighbor’s dogs, your good humor and childlike sense of wonder will ensure you enjoy the holidays. You’re not perfect, but you try your best, and that’s why Santa usually makes sure you get at least one good gift.
If you chose mostly D’s, you’re most like Buddy the Elf — When it comes to spreading Christmas cheer, no one sings louder than you. Your holiday spirit is contagious, and that ensures everyone around you has a happy holiday. Should you cut back on your sugar consumption? Probably … but that’s what New Year’s resolutions are for. Meanwhile, pass the candy, candy canes, candy corns, and syrup!
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